Side Note: This was a rather large group of students, and about 10 to 15 were there to see me. The remaining 180 students were there simply to enjoy the free pizza and pop.
Back to the story
After finishing my speech I ran into some acquaintances that are working towards there Doctorate’s in psychology- so naturally we went back to there apartment and smoked more pot that I had inhaled in months. This group was full of highly intelligent individuals- save for me- so the conversations were rather heady.
The impending presidential election reared its ugly head and one random hippy stated that no matter how the election would end up this Obama phenomenon has been unprecedented.
I was stoned- so maybe my judgment was skewed- but I claimed that Obama’s rise has not been unparalleled and actually has some parallels to the rise of Eminem.
Please remember that I was higher than I had been in a very long time, I was a balloon with far too much hot air. I was so high that my stomach was roaring like Simba, but I was far too lazy to even come to a decision as to what munchie I wanted to munch upon.
So for shits and giggles I am going attempt to validate that claim. A quick caveat before I embark upon this highly ill fated literary journey. I really do believe Obama’s campaign is unprecedented- but just like my college debate team coach used to tell me (Yeah I was on the debate team and still got laid; like a young Stephen A. Douglas but with better hair- amazing) “You must support the position you are assigned, even if the position is antithetical to your core beliefs.” So here goes.
OBAMA & EMINEM
The easiest comparison to make is that of minorities coming to power in a field dominated by the majority. A black politician becoming the leader of the Democratic party- let alone the chance of actually becoming the next prez and leader of the free world is borderline unbelievable. Eminem’s ascent as a white m.c. in an industry dominated by black mc’s is fairly incredible in its own right. They are both Jay Z fans and have turned the majority of frat boys into salivating fanatics of their's.
AL SHARPTON & VANILLA ICE
We’ll start with those that preceded our protagonists. Those individuals that did not pave the road, but helped to erect road blocks for those wishing to follow in their footsteps include Vanilla Ice and Rev. Al Sharpton. Ice helped to turn White rappers into pariah's of the game. Sharpton was the last African-American presidential nominee and his campaign was sponsored by Barnum and Bailey due to his campaign serving as a side show to the actual election at hand.
REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT & DEBBIE MATHERS
Like Rev Wright, Mama Mathers was pivotal to the growth and development of Em. Once Em achieved a modicum of success she became a parasite attempting to suck the life out of his veins. Rev. Wright was a pseudo father figure for Obama and once Obama was nearing the pinnacle Wright became more liability than asset. Ties to both have been severed: so much for unconditional love.
ALAN KEYES & UNKNOWN RAPPER CAGE
Alan Keyes was sent by the Republican Party as an answer to this African-American Wunderkind from the Democratic Party named Obama. Keyes was not even from Illinois and had never actually lived in Illinois (he just came to fill in after fellow Republican Jack Ryan was forced to withdraw due his involvement in orgies (I actually may have voted for Ryan in lieu of Obama (I wonder if I am nearing a record for intertwined parenthesis))). Keyes claimed that Jesus Christ himself would vote against Obama, and in Uncle Tom fashion he supported the Reagan administration in its opposition to sanctions being imposed upon the racist apartheid pushing government of S. Africa. Keyes also thinks all homosexuals are hell bound- even his lesbian daughter- for shame Alan Keyes, for shame. Cage was white rapper that tried to ride the coattails of Eminem. Cage at one point was supported by Suge Knight and in a retaliatory attempt to hurt Dr. Dre. and Eminem. Suge thought that skin color was the reason for America’s fascination with Eminem, not the lyrics or actual musical talent. Cage and Keyes did prove that Obama and Eminem weren't successful due their races, they were successful due to their merit.
HILLARY CLINTON & KIM MATHERS
These two women have been both adversaries and allies to Obama and Eminem. Eminem and Kim have battled for years until Eminem reached the pinnacle of his career and they worked through their differences in an attempt to forge a lasting and successful union. Like Kim and Em, Hillary and Barack have battled and torn each other new assholes in the media, yet now that Obama is at the pantheon's door step he and Hillary are attempting a reconciliation in a bid to create a lasting and successful Democratic union. Both women have serious addiction issues- Kim has been addicted to smack and Hillary is a glutton for infidelity since she chooses to remain a Clinton. Plus they both have terrible hair and huge ankles.
SENATOR EDWARD KENNEDY & DR. DRE
Dr. Dre is the living embodiment of what hip hop was in its hey day and what heights it could still achieve. Kennedy is royalty through and through; as the senior member of the clan from Camelot, Edward represents the old guard of the liberal party. Neither man needed to stick his neck out for an unknown, but they both did; and they both showed that their judgment of talent is as refined as their own abilities have already proven to be. Senator Ted Kennedy went against the Clinton machine and backed the man that reminded him of his late great brother Jack. Dre discovered and produced Eminem's first album and in doing so turned a white boy from the trailer park on 8 mile into hip hop royalty.
JOHHNY MAC & BENZINO
McCain and Benzino serve as the antagonists to our leading men. McCain and his feeling of entitlement stands in the way of Obama. Benzino and his jealousy attempted to derail the Eminem train. McCain is the head- figure and actual- of the Republican party. Benzino was the head of one of hip hop's classic publication's; The Source. Neither man was/is fully respected by their associates. Benzino's readers did not agree with his stance and McCain's fellow conservatives have had a hard time cuddling up to the increasingly abrasive McCain.
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Ok, my argument is over. Hopefully I created some conversational fodder for your water coolers. I am now going to read excerpts from Obama's recent fundraising event, but instead of silence in the background- The Slim Shady LP will be on.
2 comments:
Holy shit.
Obama apparently lifts weights to Eminem. Something tells me, he senses their spiritual kinship.
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