BREAKING NEWS

Obama chooses Biden as his running mate....you heard it here first.....What's that baby....Obama announced it last night by text message....When?.....at 3 am...why the fuck would he do that?....I was on my 5th line of coke by then...what an ass....Well yippee for me and my ill-fated attempt at beating the national talking heads to a story....I gotta go.

P.S.

• I still wish he had chosen Hilla the Hun as his running mate; but Biden ain't bad.
• Hey Mitt Romney good luck against the colloquial bulldog Biden during the Veep debates.I have a feeling the Veep debates are going to turn into a religious battle on par with the battles between Wickens and happiness. Romney vs Biden....Mormon vs Catholic.....Joseph Smith vs Pope Benedict.....The Polygamous Mormon God vs The Sexually Repressed Catholic God.
• I wonder what God is telling Bush about the upcoming elections, you know since they speak....please enlighten us Georgie.
  
  
  Nabil Shaath, who was Palestinian foreign minister at the time, said:
  "President Bush said to all of us: 'I am driven with a mission from God'. God
  would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did.
  And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did."
  Mr Bush went on: "And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go
  get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get
  peace in the Middle East'. And, by God, I'm gonna do it."