What is the Point?

Lately I have been baggin this 18 year old; and boy let me tell you it has been a joy. She literally fell into my lap and we began having sex. I was under the impression that she was kind of a moron, I mean anyone that would sleep with me on the first night has to be a brain freeze away from the short bus; but I digress.

Up until last night we had hung out twice and fucked each time we hung out. So I was pretty sure our relationship was predicated on one thing- SEX. And I was hella ok with that.

Then last night happened. I was on my home and I was horny (Mariah Carey was playing on the radio and her voice warms my loins) so I called up Dimples.

Me: He what's up
Dimples: Hi, yay it's you, what are you up to
Me: Just driving home to my big empty house.....ahem....you should swing by and keep me company.

SIDE NOTE: Keep me company does not mean "keep me company" in this context. It means come over and let me do things to you that would make Jenna Jameson blush. AHHHHHH

Dimples: I'm already in bed babe; why don't you swing over here and hang out with me.

At this point I was ecstatic- I could go over there, ejaculate, and pop back home. This scenario was much easier than having her infiltrate my fortress, since I would either have to figure out a way to make her leave after we had fucked or I would have to spend the night with her- gross.


Me: Ok I'll be right there.


She buzzed me into her apartment and I had already began to unzip my jeans as I walked up her stairs. She opened the door and hugged me- not good. I was expecting her to drop and give me fifty.

Dimples: I don't feel so good, I'm glad you're here to help me get better.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I was ambushed.

This is what John McCain must have experienced with the Vietcong.

I had no clue what to do, so I laid in bed with her for 3 hours until I grew a pair of balls and told her that I had called for a fuck, not for a cuddle, then I hit her, grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and left.

Ok, that is not what happened even though it sounds cool as shit. Picture that scenario and try not to laugh- HAHAHA, you can't. I actually told her that I had to get up early for work and didn't want to bother her in morning, due to her malady, so in her best interest I had to vacate the premises.

On the car ride home I was utterly flummoxed. Maybe due her youth and naivete she hadn't fully grasped the booty call concept. Anytime a guy like me calls after midnight it is for sex- even though I will never straight up mention sex.

Or maybe she is an evil genius, and she used sex to lure me into her bed, in an attempt to successfully carry out her master plan handed down by the Bitch Mother Ship of getting me to become a monogamous bastard.

Should I sit her down and open up the subject to her?

Probably not; I mean she's only 18; I can't be mean to the same girl that cried over missing out on Jonas Brothers Tickets.

I am lost. I was either played or I am banging a retarded person. I end up the loser no matter which scenario it is.