My Disability

Sorry my posts have been inconsistent. But I am disabled. I had an unfortunate accident that has left me disfigured, eviscerated, and emotionally scarred. During a basketball game last week I jammed my right pinky, and I haven’t been the same since. I tried to tough it out and live a “normal” life, but alas that was not possible. This ordeal has doused my spirit’s flame with a gallon of water. So I had a nurse put a splint on my right pinky. Not a nurse in a hospital but a nurse in her living room while I tried to lay down the game. But even my mojo was in need of some repair after my debilitating injury. The problem with this injury, with my disability, is that it hampers so many of my daily activities. Do you feel a list coming up….I do. Ok here we go:

Negative Effects of My Disability

* I cannot type with the normal rhythm I was accustomed to prior to my injury.

-
* I am right handed, therefore I am a right-handed wiper, yea I said it, wiper. I am having quite an ungovernable problem wiping with my left hand. When I tried to do it normally, well let’s just say I had to shower after the mess that was made. Left handed wiping takes so much longer, and I am forced to bend a completely new way. Shit, literally

-

* I cannot drive with my right hand on the steering wheel and my left hand on my cock like I used to. Now I need both hands on the wheel. If you question my driving method try it, a hand on your cock is like a cup of tomato soup, nothing but comfort.

-

* I am forced to drive my crappy automatic car, because my stick shift maneuverability is suspended indefinitely.

-

* You had to know this was coming….I am having a lot of difficulty masturbating. I masturbate right handed and use the remote or mouse with my left hand. Not only do I have to switch hands now, but I have to change my masturbation position. Bad times all around.

-

* I cannot grab a women’s left boob, left ass check, or waist while in this newfound disjointed state.

-
* If I were falling off of a cliff I could not rescue myself by grabbing a branch with my right hand a la Stallone in Cliffhanger.

-

* I cannot do pushups…alright this problem is actually a positive, but I can still pretend to be mad about it.

-

* I cannot high five.

-

* I haven’t been in a fight since college, but if something were to go down in the near future I would not be able to punch.

-

* Since it is very cold in my home state I tend to wear gloves all the time, but not anymore, my gloves won’t fit over my splint. So I had to resort to wearing mittens, yes mittens.

-

* I simply cannot slap a ho without pain….I have never actually slapped a ho, but I really wanted to write that sentence.

-

* I always give myself a round of applause after sex, and now I can't....I can't applaud, but sex is pretty much unaffected.

-

-

-

I hope you now empathize with your hero a little bit. Let’s pray that they find a cure for my malady, we really need a telethon. Jerry Lewis please look my way, what about me.