The puke list is an ever-changing creation, like the Internet. Once on the puke list you can never be taken off, ever. So even if Paris Hilton discovers the cure for AIDS, cancer, and the burning I feel when I pee; she will still be on this list. I can add anyone or anything to the puke list at any time. Here is a small snippet of the list, I will continue to add to this list for as long as I live.
The Puke List
Paris Hilton
Cut Fingernails
Rachel Ray’s body
Rush Limbaugh
Random chin hairs….on women
Female bowel movements
George Bush’s Presidency
Hillary Clinton’s ankle fat
2 girls one cup
Ernest Hemingway’s writing
Screech from Saved by the Bell
Colin Cowherd
Roger Clemens
Barry Bond’s haters
Uneven Breasts
Crazy pornos. Pornographic movies that are set in outer space, or prehistoric settings. Just show the sex, stop trying to become the Cohen brothers of the adult industry.
Girls that are great dancers but then just lie there during sex.
Blogs
T-shirts with “funny sayings.”
People that need to hug me at the culmination of every encounter. This mostly concerns women, but if a guy needs a hug after every meeting, that is just as annoying.
Frat Boys
People that imitate Borat, Anchorman, or continue to meow like the cops in Supertroopers.
Wrestling- WWE not NCAA
Anyone over 30 that still shops at Abercombie and Fitch
The Gotti look-a-likes that wear nothing but Armani Exchange t-shirts and drink Jager bombs.
Frat Boys
People that imitate Borat, Anchorman, or continue to meow like the cops in Supertroopers.
Wrestling- WWE not NCAA
Anyone over 30 that still shops at Abercombie and Fitch
The Gotti look-a-likes that wear nothing but Armani Exchange t-shirts and drink Jager bombs.
Bars that have troughs for men to urinate into….I am very gun shy.
Bathroom stalls that have no doors
.
Jared Leto
People that have the ability to distinguish M&M’s by taste alone. I cannot differentiate between M&M’s, they all taste the same.
People that slowly follow me as I leave the mall in an attempt to overtake my parking spot.
Remote controls for car radios, seriously how lazy are you
People that say “irregardless,” it is not really a word, either say regardless or irrespective, not both.
Mullets- Just kidding, I love mullets
People that have the ability to distinguish M&M’s by taste alone. I cannot differentiate between M&M’s, they all taste the same.
People that slowly follow me as I leave the mall in an attempt to overtake my parking spot.
Remote controls for car radios, seriously how lazy are you
People that say “irregardless,” it is not really a word, either say regardless or irrespective, not both.
Mullets- Just kidding, I love mullets
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