Tongue Ring

A few things happened to me once I graduated college.

• I realized that my obsession with Dave Mathews, O.A.R., and Phish was a tad bit extreme.


• I realize that the Foreman grill was not really the best way to cook a steak.


• I realized that grades were not that important.


• I realized that I was right about Frat boys- DOUCHE.


• I realized that the game I thought I had with the ladies consisted of booze and a bed.


• I also realized that tongue piercings were not that sexy.

Tongue piercings.

My employer needed a receptionist since our current receptionist is on sabbatical due to her weight gain. She got soo fat; I kid, I kid, she became pregnant, so she was on maternity leave. But I am still going to pretend she went to fat camp.

We hired a receptionist from a temp agency and all the guys in the office were waiting with baited breath, we were all hoping that our receptionist was more Jenna Fischer than Amy Fischer.

I walked into the office and noticed her.

Cute.

Blonde, B-cups, workable ass, 5'5, blue eyes; let's just say Hitler is jerking off to her in hell.

I walked up to the desk to ask a question I already knew the answer to; and there it was. I saw her Scarlett Letter- A TONGUE RING.

I lost my equilibrium and became a tad bit nauseous- was it 1999 all over again.

I walked back to my seat in an attempt to regain my composure. Its 2008. and you're in an office- why the ring?

Is she still listening to 3rd Eye Blind and Limp Bizkit. Does she still think TRL is relevant? Is she still collecting Beanie Babies? So many questions and the only one with the answers has a stud in her tongue...in 2008. I have to go since I just puked in my mouth.