Warning Labels

I was feeling a bit randy this afternoon.

I had completed a wonderful half day at work and walked into my home refreshed and ready to take on the world. As I walked toward my computer I relieved myself of all of my clothing. I logged onto my favorite porno movie search engine and typed in "Neighborhood Orgy."

353 videos found. Sweet!

So I randomly clicked on one and left it to download while I made some Ramen noodles.

The life of an attractive young bachelor isn't all glamour and glitz, sometimes it's 6o cents noodle packets and porn. But I digress.

Now that I had quenched my hunger, I had to quench my sex drive.

Play.

Alright, 3 lovely ladies sitting around a pool talking about, I actually don't remember what they were talking about because their huge breasts have bogarted my memory.

Next door neighbor stops by. The girls start making out and the next door neighbor guy began to get naked. Nice.

Then it happened.

An uncircumcised penis ruined the porno for me. It appeared and at first I thought something was wrong with this guy. Then the penis "popped" out, and he began to bang out one of the pool sluts, but I was already traumatized.

Shouldn't pornos warn us about weirdo penises with excess dick skin.

Along those same lines I would like to be warned about penises that radically curve to the left or the right.

I also would like to be warned about terrible boob jobs. Masturbating with a steady rhythm and then being shocked to the point of convulsion because of hideous plastic surgery scars is a terrible experience to have to endure.

I am also against blood, but that was this Japanese porno I bought on the East side; so it was somewhat of an isolated incident.