Elect to Reject

I was at Hooters the other night and surprisingly the waitress gave me her number- what can I say I'm bad ass. One of the guys at my table was this awkward cat and he asked me how I managed to swing the lady that I just swung. So I told him.

LUCK

That is my game, and nothing more. The convo then veered into talk of rejection. I informed him that for every Hooter's number I could lure into my pocket there was a rejection waiting in its wake to even out my fate. I also ascertained that I had the most severe rejection story of anyone at our table.

Stories began to abound and we were regaled with tales of abject failure, but mine took the cake.

My rejection tale begins about 5 years back while I was waiting tables. There was a lascivious brunette with my name written all over her. I flirted with her and laid the foundation for the day I would ask her out.

It was a Saturday night, around 8:30, and there was a festival in town that would last around 1 am. I asked Elizabeth if she would go with me and grab a drink, if we somehow managed to get out prior to 1 am.

She said yes, and she also said that it sounded like fun.

We were cut at 10, even though our restaurant closed at midnight.

Why were cut at 10, you ask, because I told my manager that if he would cut Elizabeth and I before 11, I would give him the blunt I had in my car.

As we were getting ready to leave Eliz, told me that she couldn't go. She said that she forgot she had a family reunion to get to.

A FUCKIN FAMILY REUNION. AT 11 PM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.

I was pissed off now, not only had I lost my pseudo date, but I was out of the only thing my sorrows could be drowned in- MY BLUNT.

And that my friends is the worst blow off story ever; unless y'all have some better ones.